Monday, April 8, 2013

Emoticons that should and shouldn't exist

Have you ever paid attention to the emoticons on the iPhone? Have you noticed that there are some emojis that you will never have any cause to use? Or some that you don't understand doesn't already exist? I have a bone to pick with Apple...actually a few. 

1. Why are there so many crying emojis? Seriously Apple, how often do you think a person cries or needs to express to others how hard they are crying. I don't need nine different levels of crying to send to someone through text— it's depressing.








What I would much rather have, however, are pissed off emojis instead. Do you know how often I get hangry or pissed off for no particular reason? Like every 30 minutes! Unfortunately, I don't have enough emoticons to express my grumpiness. What I will NEVER use are these creepy devil ones...








2. What the hell do these mean? 









and these...






























and this one...












3. Why is there only one Asian man that's wearing some weird and probably racist hat but no Asian woman? Why aren't there African American people? Or hispanic people besides the salsa dancer? Or anyone, really, besides an entire white family and their extended relatives? 

















4. Speaking of Asians, have you noticed the weird Asian sceneries and trinkets that you will definitely never use except maybe on Chinese New Year? That one with the moon constantly reminds me of the movie Mulan when that Asian hunk sings "Be a Man"— specifically the one lyric "...to the dark side of the moooooooooon!" Yes, I'm a dork. 
















5. Why are there so many buildings??? When would I ever tell someone that I'm going somewhere, but replace the name of the building with an emoticon of one? It doesn't make sense and isn't at all efficient. Besides, all 45 of the buildings basically look the same except for the churches, which I think are segregated by the normal one and pink one for people with bigger hearts. 










6. I personally think they need to trade the mythical creatures for more pictures of animals that actually exist, like dogs. Also— since when did dragons have antlers? Is that a new thing? 














8. I can't decide if this is the symbol for a submissive, or some sexual position...Maybe both. I'm pretty sure if I had to choose, this is the most risque emoji that is available. Which is another thing— there needs to be more sexy emoticons. Frat boys would use the shit out of some emoticons of pinups, or condoms, or sex toys— let's be serious.












9. I would never, EVER use these...
















Or these...





































Or these...
















10. I will however, use these almost every day...

It's code word for "shoot me." 








This is the closest to a pissed off emoticon, and it's a cat. 

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