Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Best of Craigslist: Strictly Platonic Edition

Screenshot by Merriam-Webster.

1. make up lessons /feminizing lessons offered - t4t (Silvr lake,Hollywd, WH)I am a Full time Ts feminizing consultant offering make up,and feminizing lessons and services in the art of looking,acting, walking, talking, dancing like a real woman, .other sevices includes: shopping for wigs ,female clothes, and assisting you with dressing upAlso have refferals to cosmetic surgeons, therapist, female, and male hormone Dr's..These classes are being offered to anyone ,cd, and tv,ts,,male, or female .Privacy, discretion, respect, fun, and mastering the art of femininity is my promise to you...Tell me what your feminizing goals are?This post is not a sex, or dating ad...portfolio viewed and tuition discussed during initial "oni's Cd Lounge" : 323 834 -2850(no texting please)

Well this is extremely sexist. What do these "feminizing lessons" even entail? Like if I went in will I come out with the same makeover that Sandra Bullock went through in Miss Congeniality? Will I learn how to shake my hips when I walk and only wear heels and talk like Marilyn Monroe? Does this actually make me more feminine or just annoying to the general public? Will I just look like a prostitute? Because that's not feminizing, that's encouraging sex trafficking. In no way can I take this seriously. 

2. please let me try your breastmilk.... - m4w - 35 (lancaster palmdale victorville valencia)Not looking for sex so posted it here..if it happens it happens, bur not the reason for this post.I was never breastfed as a child and wife wants to get preg but doesnt want me to try this with her there anyine out there willing to let me try?
Attractive white male here near lancaster.

WTF. This is obscene. I was never breast-fed as a child either, but you don't see me going around pleading for breast milk from random ladies. Does your wife know about this post? Does she know that you are also willing to commit adultery too? And who says you're an attractive white male? I would like to see some sources and/or photographic evidence of this.  

3. Quirky Texts - m4w - 35 (Beverly Hills)Just want an intelligent text friend who can give and take witty repartee. If you're cute, it can't hurt!

Just go on Ok Cupid. Or any dating site. There's plenty of "witty repartee" because that's one of the only ways to prove your personality. 

4. need a woman friend to share a secret... - m4w - m4w
Have you ever cheated or been really tempted to and had no one to open your heart and share it with? Let's talk, I need a woman's perspective...

I mean...what are best friends for? Or maybe (just a thought), if you did cheat maybe the person to tell this secret with is THE PERSON WHO YOU ARE CHEATING ON. Or just buy a journal and let your thoughts run free. Chances are if you tell someone random that you found on Craigslist they won't be very helpful or end up judging you, which I'm guessing that you are trying to avoid. Dr. Phil would not approve. 

5. Soldier working graveyard - m4w - 27 (L.A)hey there just looking to chat with some cool people, im working until 0600 and im really bored lol someone save me, im 6"3, half mexican half spanish, brown hair and eyes, hit me up

This is a beginning scene of a horror movie. I'm certain of it. In what crazy world would anyone go to a graveyard to visit a bored ex-soldier who probably is suffering some sort of PTSD and is digging a grave to put you in? If he's so bored then just bring some games to play with, read some tombstones, or better yet– look for a job that isn't so darn boring. Don't be creepy. 

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