Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Best of Craigslist: Rants and Raves Edition

If you haven't ever gone on the "Rants and Raves" section of Craigslist...you're not missing out on anything. I barely even got this small collection of gems through the pile of nude photos, Obama digs and self-pitying long essays about how they missed their chance with this girl 26 years ago. I on the other hand was imagining some hilarious story of a guy ranting about how his neighbor keeps knocking over him front yard gnome, or something. But alas, that was not the case. So enjoy– I officially lost brain cells to copy and paste these posts for you...

1. dead beat dad club

fun outings, support group..
Just a fun bunchn of guys sharing their life experiences neglecting thier kids..
(( I was told by the judge to pay child support to feed my kids --I told him LET THEM STARVE))
I know their are many of you that feel the same way..


This is horrid. In what world do you think that the words "dead beat dad" and "support group" go together?! NO, NO, NO! Just because the phrase is catchy does NOT mean that it should be a thing! You should not band together like brothers and share stories of how you had so-and-so number of affairs or so-and-so ways you abused your child! It makes me upset just writing my response! This is not a culture, don't treat it that way!

2. COULD YOU BE MY GRANDSON? (sierra madre)YOU ARE APPROXIMATELY 28YRS OLD, YOUR FIRST NAME IS ROBERT; YOUR FATHER WAS STEWART ASHLEY SANDERSON WHO WORKED AT "THE ONLY PLACE IN TOWN" IN THE 1980'S. UNFORTUNATELY YOUR DAD WAS MURDERED IN FEBRUARY 1987 AND FOUND DEAD STUFED IN HIS CLOSET. CRIME THAT WAS NEVER SOLVED BUTCONVENIENTLY IGNORED BY THE SIERRA MADRE POLICE DEPT. I KNOW THIS IS NOT ALOT OF INFORMATION; BUT IF YOUR MOTHER WAS HIS GIRLFIEND OR LOVER, YOU COULD BE MY GRANDSON, WHO I AM MOST ANXIOUS TO MEETBEFORE I DIE. I MAY BE CONTACTED @ 315 350 4387 THX

WHY THE ALL CAPS?! I understand that you probably are on your last few threads of life, but jeez man, what are the chances you are going to find your son (who may or may not even live in the Los Angeles region) on the "Rants and Raves" section of Craigslist? Also, why the urgency now? Do you think that you guys will automatically connect after an entire lifetime of not knowing each other? Have you been searching for him for years? Or is this the only thing that you've done? Let's hope the kid knows about Ancestry

3. Boredbored








word limit?







have nothing else to say













extremely











<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


























thats all

...why even bother?

4. Why are those people on that Carnival Cruise complaining?That sounds like a great vacation if they are passing out free liquor drinks and you can go the bathroom anywhere you want, You could probably find some drunk girls and also set up a slip and slide down one of the hallways

Um...have you read the reports from that cruise?! People didn't have anything to drink! Sure, in other circumstances a free beer sounds cool, but they didn't have any water to rehydrate themselves with! Babies didn't have any formula for days, there was literally sewage and poop running from the walls, need I go on? They will probably make a horror movie about it years from now, and a slip and slide is definitely not going to be in it. 

5. do you like to make fart sounds ?If so call and make them , tonight..
626-807-9754
long , gross and wet ones work the best.

Excuse me? Work best for what? You and your camera? The ninnies on the Internet these days, I swear...

Bonus (because these rants suck):

create an asian event (san gabriel valley)let's create an asian event. let me know if anybody willing to help out or volunteer.
http://asianinsider.co.nr
An Asian event?! What does that even mean? Is San Gabriel Valley lacking in Asian get-togethers? Because if that is the case, just come to Los Angeles. We have an asian event happening probably about every day. So I went on the website above called "Asian Insider," and they are basically trying to make a Craigslist just for Asians. The only problem? There's literally about three people including the founder who post on it. Please work on your marketing, you're giving Asians out there a bad name. 

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