Monday, December 31, 2012

The New Year's Kiss

Photo by Wikimedia Commons

The New Year's kiss is probably one of the most panicky, anxiety-inducing moments that most people can find common ground on. Right next to airplane turbulence.

Who in the world started the New Year's kiss? When did that become a fad? Why can't we have just stuck with the clinking of champagne glasses? Or the cheering and singing "Auld Lang Syne" in drunken unison? Why wasn't that enough? But no, as if us singles didn't have enough to deal with, we have to add frantically finding a kissing partner to the list.

There are basically three different types of partners that a single girl can have for the New Year's Eve kiss:

1. The girl friend. This is the automatic go-to. Shit like this is why single girls have single girl friends. I mean you won't have a magical kiss that will make your toes tingle (or maybe you will, in which case you might want to question your sexuality), but it'll do. It is also a great excuse to avoid kissing randos or creepsters that might be lurking beside you.

2.  A guy. Any guy, really. You can be dating him, or ish, or not at all and you've only met him that night and he happens to be right next to you during the countdown. Anyway, for that brief moment, you pretend that you two are an item, and are more than strangers and really care about each other. You pretend that this is a special moment and therefore that person you are sharing it with is special as well. Until January 2nd, when you realize that it is all a mind trick and that you'd rather not ever see him again.

3. The gay friend. This is a happy medium. Since he is a gay friend, and almost any college girl can say they have made out with a gay guy, this is no different than kissing the girl friend. However, it can be tricky if there are other gays around, so you might want to have a promise each other in advance to be kissing buddies, or at least have a Plan B. Very slippery, these gays are.

And that's pretty much it. Wide range, I know. All of these don't by any means promise a groundbreaking kiss that will rock your world. That's much harder to find. Or of course, there's always the other option: escape to the bathroom during countdown and miss the moment entirely. But really, who wants to spend the first moments of New Years sitting on a dingy toilet, alone?

1 comment:

  1. Just as unpleasant for single guys! Happy New years!