Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Best of Craigslist: Issue I

You can say what you want about Craigslist, but I'm convinced that it has a bad rep. I believe that a lot of posts are very legitimate and I've gotten many a spare couch and TV set because of it. Roommates are a different story personally, but I know a few people who have had good experiences too.

Los Angeles Craigslist, however is a completely different league. I've learned to peruse the "gigs" section at the bottom for random events that I might able to work for some extra dough (this is a frequent thing to do in LA). Actors, dancers, writers and artists alike depend on small jobs and gigs for income because they mostly leave room for auditions and are temporary enough that they can drop it whenever a big event comes through.

Through this, however, I've come across a lot of racy, unusual and equally hilarious posts. Let's just say there's a lot of quacks out there. Here's a quick selection from just today and what I would like to say to them:

1. Strip for me - private video - DISCREET! (Los Angeles)
Looking for attractive young ladies to shoot videos of themselves stripping/dancing on their webcams. Video for private use only, so good discreet way to cam. Send me pics/links and if I am interested I will write back. Will pay $100 per 10 minute video. If you're good, could be a multiple time thing. Any questions, let me know. 

Some questions: is there a time limit on this? Can a woman potentially show up in a parka, 10 layers of clothes and stretch the strip tease to a hour? Will she get $600 in return? Why don't you just watch porn for free? What if someone sends you porn and says that it's actually them? Will you be able to tell the difference? If not, then I could use a couple easy hundred in the bank...

2. Need Letter Written to Lost Friend (Anywhere)
I need a letter written, it's not that it needs to be lengthy but it needs to have feeling and I can't get it all down on paper. It's a letter from me (a woman) to a man about a broken friendship. I will explain the situation more in detail once responded to.
Basically I was friends with a guy who was my now-husbands best friend. He kissed me (after I was married) and after that it got extremely awkward.. there's a lot more to the story that will help with this. I'd like to have it written today.

I actually would totally do this. What kind of pay are we talking about because "Let's talk" under "Compensation" does not qualify as currency. What are you trying to say to this friend? Do you want to rekindle your relationship with him? Does your husband know about this? Is he upset? 

Really, I don't understand why this woman can't write this on her own. And even if she can't, doesn't she have other friends that would be better qualified and know her better to write it for her instead of a complete stranger? And who wants a letter written by someone else? Just because you scrawl your signature at the bottom doesn't mean that it's sincere. Write it yourself lady, and it will definitely come from the heart. Also I hope you're not about to ignite an affair because that is socially frowned upon. 

3. Hot Girl Need Cash? (LA)
I need one fine lady to come overt and keep me company today. I can be generous in exchange for some intimate fun.
Please send a pic thanks 

Your glaring spelling error makes me already dislike you. Can you define "generous"? And "intimate"? Your overly vague sentence gives me no idea what you are looking for. "Generous" could mean $2 and an used toaster in exchange for a whole day of company to you, for all I know.

4. Female Bubble Butt Fetish Model Wanted (Los Angeles )

This is an amateur shoot. I have a fetish for round, shapely bubble butts that stick out from the side view. Must be between 18 to 34 years of age, attractive, flat/small waist, medium to tall height and be comfortable posing in short skirts and posing for up skirt shots. I prefer latinas but all colors of the rainbow are welcomed! Send me your age, B/W/H measurements, dress/shoe/panty size and some body shots showing off your buns. This should be a quick and easy 1 hour shoot that includes photos and video clip recordings. No Nudity is ok. 

Why 34? Is there a specific reason why you didn't want a 35-year-old "bubble butt" walk in for a photo shoot? Was it a bad experience? Do you already have clothes and shoes for them to try on– is that why you want the specific measurements and sizes? Or is that for you to put on your Creepster Portfolio? Do you only prefer Latinas (which is capitalized) because you think that they all have junk in the trunk? Because that's racial profiling. 

5. $$$$$ BECKY where are you $$$ (Inglewood)
Looking for BECKY or someone that can give me some BECKY , willing to pay.
If interested please respond.. 

Oooh emmm geee, no he didn't. Excuse me sir, the song "Becky" is SO 2009. And is that last  line necessary? As opposed to what? Because if you're not interested than people will definitely respond. And I find the first sentence a bit confusing. So you're saying that if a girl actually named Becky comes over and does not give you fellatio, then that's okay too?

Happy Hump Day!

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